1. |
Here Now
02:49
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When I started writing this I had no idea where I was going, no overall plan with nothing specific to say, just a symphony of turbulence, a clattering rhythm and a brain full of tangential nonsense. But then, bit-by-bit, I started to make little decisions. Minute after minute and this becomes cumulative. In retrospect it looks like I always had a plan with a start, a middle and an end; a random walk that ended up taking me somewhere I wanted to go. And that’s here. Now. I’m back in the fray. I’ve still got something to say. I don’t want to fade away. And I’m here now. Right here, now. Remember when we tried to turn the world upside down? But then we got ironic and sardonic, we messed around. The world keeps on revolving and nothing’s ever changed but here I am still passionate with a bottle full of rage. Sometimes you don’t realise what you’re doing till it’s done and sometimes like a great idea its time has come. And I’m here. Now. I’m back in the fray. I’ve still got something to say. I don’t want to fade away. And I’m here. Now. Right here. Now. It’s not fuck my life; it’s fuck! My life!
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2. |
The Inclement Weather
01:34
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The inclement weather put paid to November, any gunpowder, treason and plot. Autumn had left me in turmoil and trouble thinking what I had and had not. At the back of beyond before maladies I’d’ve happily shouted for more. With a kick up the arse and a bug in the belly, I found myself right back on course. I’m embracing adventure with comfortable shoes and a clean place to shit, yeah, that’s it. There’s no easier way to sit back and say “Problems, yeah problems, we know”. With vertigo dread I keep looking ahead, remembering what’s gone before. Canadian logic I’m tempted to follow: “What’s the gut say to you?” I’m chasing the heart, just living the dream, what else can a poor man do? I’m embracing adventure with comfortable shoes and a clean place to shit, yeah, that’s it.
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3. |
Asking For A Friend
02:44
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Asking for a friend, I’m just asking for a friend and I haven’t actually checked but is this trending yet? Asking for a friend, I’m just asking for a friend. I’m not big on speculation so please don’t judge and I’m not big on revelations but I’ll divulge I’ve been private browsing middle-aged concerns. And I’ve been googling the 50-something blues. Asking for a friend, I’m just asking for a friend and I haven’t actually checked but is this trending yet? Asking for a friend, I’m just asking for a friend. It’s incredible, keeping it credible, alcohol, booze. Erectile dysfunction; execrable news. I’ve been denying existential truths and I’ve been ignoring hashtag cancerous news. Asking for a friend, I’m just asking for a friend.
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4. |
Are You Ready People?
02:18
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Are you ready people? You’ve got to be ready because I’m old-fashioned and yes, I still believe I am somebody. We all are, we all are. I don’t care about my figure but I love to sing about something. I never wanted compromises, I don’t care about rebel stances, I don’t talk about bland stanzas, I don’t think about lack of substance, I don’t need that ersatz rebellion, I still dream. What I want is, what I need is, I wanna hear those, I wanna sing those hard hitting songs for hard hit people. I’m no preacher performing miracles but I’d like a laxative for the limousine liberals. I don’t want to be absorbed by everything I loathe. The meek will just inherit shit. Shit, shit, shit and that’s it. I never wanted compromises, I don’t care about rebel stances, I don’t talk about bland stanzas, I don’t think about lack of substance, I don’t need that ersatz rebellion, I still dream of revolution! What I want is, what I need is, I wanna hear those, I wanna sing those hard hitting songs for hard hit people.
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5. |
Mad As Hell
02:54
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I’m sick to death of being told to keep calm, there’s no danger of that happening any time soon. I’m angry, still angry after all these years, I’ll never “calm down”. Never. Ever. I really don’t care if sincerity’s uncool. Now is the time to stop playing the fool. I’m sick of being pushed and hushed and crushed, I’ve had enough of standing in the middle of the road. Have you seen the film “Network” from ’76? When Howard Beale delivers that passionate speech? He says “I don’t have to tell you things are bad”, he says “All I know is you’ve got to get mad”. He says “I’m mad as hell not gonna take this any more”.
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6. |
Curmudgeon
02:08
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A grumpy curmudgeon in a state of high dudgeon, I’m stuck, I’m stuck, I’m stuck, what the fuck?! Not much of a talker, just like my father, walk away, walk away, walk away, you don’t say? Not always for the best, cards close to my chest, I’m stolid, I’m stubborn, I’m stiff, that’s it. Just twisted inside and more besides. I’m twisted, twisted, twisted, stuck! A grumpy curmudgeon in a state of high dudgeon, I’m stuck, I’m stuck, I’m stuck, that’s the hook. Oh heavens above when push comes to shove I’m battered, I’m broken, I’m bruised, it’s all true. I just to try to believe with my heart on my sleeve, forever and ever and ever, Amen. Just twisted inside and more besides. I’m twisted, twisted, twisted. Just twisted inside and more besides. Walk away, walk away, walk away. Just twisted inside and more besides. I’m twisted, twisted, twisted, stuck!
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7. |
Music Of The Gross
02:17
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It’s like the clamour of a metal pig. The amorous croaking of a monstrous frog. Sonic fools of the bourgeois world; we celebrate our destitution. This is the music of the gross. I’m talking all that Dzhaz. Such happy boys with singing guitars crucified on the cross of mass culture. Like Plastic People of the Universe we’re not allowed to listen to Elvis. This is the music of the gross. I’m talking all that Dzhaz. And so we sing, we sing our songs crammed in street corner booths. We are the bards and the dissidents and this is our cri de couer! The bottle, the beat! Throw off this horrible dictatorship! Quick! Live! Drink! Shout! Throw off this horrible dictatorship! Quick! Live! Drink! Sing! Throw off this horrible dictatorship! Quick! Live! Drink! Puke!
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8. |
Taciturn
02:16
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I’m so taciturn I’d nod to answer a question on the radio. You must go on, you have to, we have to do it, you know it. These words in particular have always stayed. These words so simple, these words so plain. You must go on, you have to, we have to do it, you know it. Sometimes silence says more than words can ever express when words are just useless.
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9. |
Do You Remember?
02:31
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I remember where I was when my dad died; Glasgow, where were you? It was supposed to be miles better, do you remember? The morphine had you performing that night under the silvery screen. Oh tell ‘em June, tell ‘em; it was you and John Wayne. You left no lipstick traces as you chased those young gunslingers out of town. Do you remember? Throughout all those New York adventures I remember thinking, what were you thinking? And on the train home I recall the distress of having done something seditious. Oh I should’ve known better what with that damning last letter but amnesia got the better of me how it always does nowadays. I remembered much later, by about November, remember? Remember? After the funeral we cleared a wardrobe; we were taking your clothes to a charity shop. It was only then I questioned all the things you wrote in that so-called confessional apology note. Oh the cruellest of fates, it was too little, too deluded, too late and it left no recourse but that’s how you wanted it of course. At least I understood if only just a bit and swore to never, ever repeat it. Repeat it. Remember?
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10. |
Love It All
02:21
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I’ve got to tell you straight away like most stories about a life this one ends in a death so don’t hold your breath. A normal, urbane, dull affair, no weeping, wailing, no fanfare; just a neighbour, two policemen and a friend, there at the end. The contrast could not be much starker watching a body get trolleyed away, the most mundane denouement after the most wonderful life full of maxims and bon mots like “Out of disorder comes the order” and “Trust, absolute, unconditional” but my favourite was and still is “Love it all. Just love it all”. I’ve got to tell you at this point I never craved to be an astronaut. I was always too down to earth for what it’s worth. But when I love it’s with a passion, I love someone till it’s out of fashion. I confess, I obsess; expect nothing less. That glow of revolutionary light is always ready to ignite, I felt that spark again tonight, as well I might. I’m full of maxims and bon mots like “Out of disorder comes the order” and “Trust, absolute, unconditional” but my favourite was and still is “Love It All. Just love it all”.
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11. |
Based On A True Story
02:46
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I’m not scared to admit I think about my own obituary. I contemplate its contents constantly; it comes with the territory. There’s a playlist written in my head that says all there is to be said about me. Poignant, pithy, full of prose that’ll bring this life to a close, precisely. This will all be based on a true story. It will all be based on a true story but manipulated ever so slightly. It will all be based on a true story, a version though for the eulogy. It will all be based on a true story designed to make you weep politely. It will all be based on a true story; watch me now! Soak up all the glory!
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12. |
Billingham
02:58
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This is a love song to Billingham. God how I hate you, I hate you. You shaped me and shifted, you beat me and bent me, you jumped me on corners, you told me sweet little lies. You don’t even know where you are, do you? You don’t even know who you are. You don’t even know what you are! We’ll never see eye to eye oh Billingham. God how I hate you, I hate you. Those visions of Huxley that sounded so funny, that nauseous nightmare; you still scare me to death. You don’t even know where you are, do you? You don’t even know who you are. You don’t even know what you are! But no matter how hard I still try we’re not so different you and I. Oh I could hang myself with this trope; Man overboard! Abandon hope!
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13. |
Breathe
02:31
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I have nothing to declare but this: I’m in a car wash and frankly I’m terrified. Why the jitters when the jitter’s on zero? I’m not trying to be a hero. If it’s a question of curiosity what’s gonna happen when I hit sixty? Will I still be angry? Will I still be hungry? And will I still have the energy? It’s all about complete conviction. Shouldn’t I be the one in Eurovision? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again “Unrest is progress; contentment death!” That’s the diatribe over, now all I wanna do is breathe.
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14. |
Am I Invisible Yet?
03:53
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More and more I’m talking about my generation, getting myself into a lather. More or less hoping for complete exoneration, old enough to be your father. Am I invisible yet? Am I invisible? There’s no repeal whilst I’m slowly losing my appeal; it can get treacherous. The start of past my sell by date gradual decay; yeah it can get lecherous. Am I invisible yet? Am I invisible? This is someone who was someone once but you can see right through me though. I’m going. I’m going, I’m going, I’m going, I’m going, I’m going, I’m going, I’m gone.
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